The Death of a Patriarch
June 2021 began with a bustle of excitement in our household. The husband and I had helped my parents with arrangements to surprise the man cubs with a surprise visit. They had postponed their 25th wedding anniversary excursion until after school had let out. The plans were coming together for them to drive to Niagra Falls. And then Grandpa fell ill...
Due to not knowing all of the finer details of the reasoning behind the initial hospitalization, I won't divulge much. However, what I do know, is he had a serious UTI. So that was the main reason. And while in there, he began having mental issues. Hallucination type issues. Some of it was due to the medication he was put on during his hospital stay. The rest? Well...it was simply how things went.
When he was released, he was supposed to be cared for in a nursing home. For the sake of details yet again, let's just say it was an absolute mess. No fault of the facility. But fault of the social worker who clearly did not listen to the kids when they met with her about Grandpa's physical and mental state of mind. He stayed for a night with his kids taking rotations keeping him company, as they did during his hospital stay. Then my mother and bonus dad took him back to his home. Hospice care to the rescue! They had everything ready before he arrived. They were all wonderfully caring and concise with information. It was a blessing after all of that mess to have him home. Grandpa was happy to have "real eggs and coffee" again. Apparently hospital food is disgusting? haha
Mom and Ernie nearly did not make the trip to Niagra Falls. Who could blame them? There was no way of knowing if Grandpa's health would remain steady or decline given the state of things. But he was home, where he wanted to be. Thankfully, my aunts convinced them to take as much of their trip as could be managed. They were able to visit one of my cousins in Indiana. They made some stops throughout the rest of their way to Niagra Falls. And the Falls? Well worth the drive. I visited Niagra Falls my junior year of high school. I saved four hundred dollars for that trip on a bet with Mom. If I made the four hundred myself, she would give me spending money. Looky who got to visit one of the most spectacular places on earth? Me!! It was an amazing experience!
Annnnnnyway! They left New York and arrived at our house. We had plans of visiting the Statue of Liberty with them two days after their arrival. However, we recieved a text that Grandpa wasn't expected to last the weekend hours after they arrived. My parents stayed the night. We had a big breakfast of biscuits and gravy, and eggs. They hung out a while, then left for home. About three hours after they left, we got the text that Grandpa had passed. We are thankful he was at home. He was 93 years old. He lived nothing short of the life he wanted to live. He is with Jesus and his wife, whom he has missed desperately since 2018.
Monday morning was a bright a bushy tailed kinda morning. NOT. The man cubs and I were packed the night before, in preparation for the 16 hour drive to Missouri for Grandpa's funeral. Paul was unable to come because of work. So the man cubs and I took off at the buttcrack of dawn for a huge coffee at Dunkin (which is not good coffee my dudes).
The man cubs know the routine. I do not stop. You gotta pee? You better be wiggling in your seat before I stop. And public restrooms? Nope. I am not taking four man cubs into a public restroom alone. Nopity nopity no. They have penises. They pee on the side of the road. I don't pee the entire trip. After four kids, I have no clue how my bladder still holds up that long, but it does. What about pooping? Believe it or not, everyone's sphincters magically constrict and no one needs to poop. I have no idea how that works either, but it does, without fail. And how do we pass the time? They watch movies and we count down the movies until the estimated arrival. Myself? I call my seestors, and listen to Wretched Radio on my phone. It passes the time quickly, all things considered.
We stayed with my dad a few days before going to my parents' home. I wanted to be sure incoming family had a place to sleep versus paying for a hotel. We were able to visit with numerous people we hadn't seen in years due to Grandpa's death. Which, if you've lived away from home for as long as I have, seeing some of those people you grew up with is truly uplifting. And, having the opportunity to talk about our childhood shenanigans was refreshing. Lots and lots of shenanigans!!!
Grandpa's funeral wasn't until the following Saturday. So we stayed six days before making the trip back to our home. His casket was STL Cardinals red. He picked it out the day they made funeral arrangements for his wife. It had an STL Cardinals logo on the lid as well. It's such a big deal because Grandpa was such a big fan of Cardinals' baseball. He didn't care about the other teams as long as they lost to his favorite. During his eulogy, my aunt mentioned he could have played professional baseball. He knew his stuff. And he played well. I've seen him in action in the past despite his age. And I've heard plenty of stories. I have no doubt he could have played professionally. It seemed appropriate to have him buried in a casket that was as loud as he was.
The graveside service was HOT. My hands were sweating. My arms were sticky. Let's not talk about the sweat that dripped down my backside. People were making jokes that Grandpa would be buried on the hottest day of summer. "Perfect for catfishin'," he would say. I sang "When I Reminisce of You" at the close of the graveside service. It was my first live performance playing guitar. I only clunked 2 chords. hahahah It could have been far worse! It was so hot, that after wiping my hands on my dress so I could play the guitar, my hands were still slimy from the humidity! No bueno!
Despite how hot it was, I did meet up with two of my (now) adult nephews for an early supper. I hadn't seen the eldest of the two in nearly 15 years, I think. When I mentioned catching up on shenanigans earlier, I meant it. We were attempting to reminisce while my man cubs acted like dingbats. They were around new people soooooo yeah, that's how that generally goes. It was a great visit despite the insanity though. Following that, we visited with my sister and bro in law out of Arizona before they left to catch their flight back home. I was ready for a long sleep after a full day of Missouri heat.
Grandpa's death came somewhat unexpected. That is, as far as the timing is concerned. We had no control over the timing. And we are not bitter about his death. He was 93 years old. He was ready to be with Jesus and his wife. And he passed at home with his family near, as he wanted to do as well. We are grateful for the legacy he has left us, and the rest of the people who knew him. We are grateful for the memories made with him, and the numerous stories of his youth.
"We lived because He lives; This I reminisce of you; When I reminisce of you"--When I Reminisce of You