Mom Bod
Remember that post I made that started by telling moms to buy something for themselves and to NOT feel guilty about it? The same post went on a mini Mom Rant at the end. It was titled "Mom Life Advice Inspired by Shaving my Legs." If you haven't read that post, stop now, find the post and read it, then come back to read this one. I'll wait....plays Jeopardy music....
Welcome back! This is a sequal to "Mom Life Inspired by Shaving my Legs."
As a woman, I have my own body insecurities or simply something about my body I'm not a big fan of. This has been a thing since high school, and fortunately not because of bullying. I'm a thick girl. Always have been. AND I LOVE IT! Hips, thighs, and a booty--the large boobs have shrunk a little thanks to nursing. Hallelujer! Me likey being a thick girl. Paul likes it too, which is why we have 4 man cubs! Bahahaha TMI Momma Bear don't care! 😘
My insecurities as mentioned, were dos boobs cuz from DD to a smaller C cup left them sagging. I ain't a fan of bras and the fact I feel the need to wear one now is not cool. I'm 28--Got my age wrong in the last post. Mom brain or aging, I don't know, but I'm losing it a little. Next, the c section scar from having Isaac. Not getting into that story now, but I abhor it with every ounce of my being. It is an emotional scar that no one but other Moms who experienced the same, will understand--PTSD due to birth trauma is real. I'm one of the few who openly talk about it. Next, my saddlebags. I didn't say butt. I said saddlebags. Loves me some curves but not a fan of the butt under the butt that rolls out the side. Not cute. I don't like it. Always had saddlebags. The jiggle, eh. I can handle that. I'm not exactly playing volleyball 16 hours a week anymore. But them saddlebags. Nuh uh. Something changed (a little) the last full day in Hawai'i though, thanks to a couple women in a swim suit store.
David and I went on our morning walkabout and discovered a store in the hotel hidden in a hallway leading outside. I saw nothing but bikini tops and bottoms. No shorts. Insecurity radar is blaring like in incoming missile on a radar screen. I went in anyway. The tops were cute. Yeah, I've worn several of these styles and always had a neck ache after the fact. Dos boobs, remember? The bottoms? Lawd, I'm perspiring like a grandchild in church whose Grandma is turned around threatening the wooden spoon for poor behavior. Ain't no way my butt is gonna fit in any of these without the saddlebags hanging. Then, I started talking with the shop owner and two other ladies digging through the sale bins.
The 19 year old is naturally small, which is society's preference for model material except she is actually healthy. Her mom has had 4 kids and all of them are nearly grown. She is not sure about a suit for herself at all. Her insecurity is her stomach. The three of us convinced her to try a hot pink bikini top. When she finally opened the door to show us, we were shocked. The hot pink against Native American skin? WOW! A little jiggle in the middle from having 4 kids? So what? She looked beautiful! She felt so loved and proud of herself, that she walked out in that top without her tank over it right next to her daughter. That's a Mom loving her body with the help of strangers and her daughter. How I wish more women (and men) would do that and inspire the younger generations not to be so hard on themselves.
This particular interaction with these ladies convinced me to try bikini bottoms. I always wear shorts. For a tomboy, shorts were the way to go when I snorkeled the river with Dad and climbed through root wads against the current to snag treasures from dumped tubes and canoes. I've lost bottoms in the river before. I do not enjoy playing fetch with myself, okay?
The owner of the shop held David for me while I tried several tops, none of which worked. Then she pulled out this gem that worked as a halter but the weight of dos boobs isn't held up by my neck. Lifesaver! It was perfect and nursing friendly. No side boob either. YES! Someone understands the struggle! The bottoms she convinced me to try were a whole new animal. Black and flower print. I'm not a print person. I look funny in anything that isn't solid colored (I think).
FYI--Apparently buying a bottom to cover your butt makes your butt look bigger. Not that I mind that, but the saddlebags, eh. No bueno. Don't make those look any bigger please, and spank you. The bikini bottom fit amazing and totally took the focus off the saddlebags. This woman is a genius! She works in an industry where women HATE their bodies. She works very hard to make sure the women LOVE themselves when they walk out of her store. Retail associates, take notes. She's a Grandma, and she does an amazing thing for women. It isn't just well practiced customer service. She believes what she says.
So, on that note, I bought a bikini suit without shorts for bottoms. I have dos boobs support and no side boob. I have a flowered bikini bottom, not a solid color (omg). The bottom doesn't fully cover my butt and it definitely doesn't hide the horrific c section scar...in lieu of that, it took only a few minutes in the dressing room to realize the difference the right style makes for a person's confidence. I took a picture and sent it to Paul. It said "I did a thing." His reaction...bahaha 😎
Moms, you've had kids. Stop trying to get "your" body back. "You've done had a baby, Miss Scarlett. It ain't never gonna be 18 inches again:"--Mammie
"Your" body doesn't exist anymore and it stopped existing at conception. "Your" body became a hotel with womb service for 9 months, and a buffet for x amount of months after that to nurse a man cub (or 4). For those who formula fed, you still share the same purpose for comfort for your kids. "Your" body is comfort to your kids regardless what flab you do or don't have. Stop trying to compete with the sick supermodels. That ain't sexy. That ain't cute. It's degrading to women to force yourself to look like that for approval. If you're naturally skinny, own it. If you're naturally thick, own it. If you're severely overweight, own it BUT PLEASE, work at becoming healthier. Skinny does not mean you're healthy. And overweight by that stupid BMI chart doesn't mean you are unhealthy. What I pay for life insurance at my health a year ago and 20 pounds heavier before becoming pregnant with David (after a health assessment and bloodwork), is 17 bucks which is HALF of what I was estimated based on my age and the average people my age pay because of their overall health. Overweight does not mean poor health. Doctors, bite me. We Moms, are bad asses. Yes, language. Pardon me. That is what we are.
Be proud of those tiger stripes. You earned every one of them. Be proud of the soft belly. That was once room service to your man (or she) cub. Your hips are prolly wider. Maybe they shrunk back down to the previous size. I don't know. I ain't looking. Maybe your butt is bigger. Maybe it jiggles when you walk. So what? Flaunt that! I've always looked this way! I've always been a thick girl. I own that! I have some extra stretch marks to add to the ones I gained in high school, my 4pk abs are gone, and these dang saddlebags are a little bigger. But I made 4 man cubs in less than 5 years. I'm 28 and I have 4 kids under the age of 5. I'm a Mom who now owns and wears a strapless dress and bikini!
What's your superpower?