Mom Life Advice Inspired By Shavin’ My Legs

Don't get too excited. This isn't a Mom Rant. ;) It's a real life piece of advice for aspiring and current Moms. Okay, here it goes...Do NOT take for granted the convenience of a shower (or bath) or purchasing something for yourself. The latter, I take for granted A LOT.

Aspiring Moms, this is for you. Cherish your shower time. I could get into a whole mess of things you sacrifice when you become a Mom. Each one is well worth the sacrifice, but sometimes, you seriously need to wash your butt. When you become a mother, you cannot always make time for a shower. Seriously, sometimes it just is not possible. And you forget how long it's been since you showered. I hear y'all groaning and your facial expression is purely mortified and you're thinking how nasty it is not showering at least every other day. Don't get snobby. It's gonna happen to you too one day and you're gonna remember these wise words of Momma Bear.
I forget to shower. I forget to eat. I forget to pee. I forget my coffee (OMG). All this I forget because my priorities are the man cubs and my husband. I do so much for them and I don't take care of myself enough. It isn't because they're males. I don't tolerate the misogynistic garbage. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Nuff said. Nonetheless, lately I've started forcing myself to make more time. The elder man cubs are big enough to fend for themselves a little so I can get away with more for me but I still have low expectations for the amount of time I can be absent from a room before chaos ensues.
On Monday while Paul was working, I was able to put the mini man cub down for a nap, talk to my dad and baby sister and my husband uninterrupted on the phone (Paul was headed back to the to the hotel). I studied for my exam, and I started the Hawai'i Bound blog post. I was able to run bath water, wash myself AND shave. Y'all, I shaved my freaking legs. Fellow Moms, can I get a "Hallelujer!" I put my face on--In other words, not just my eyebrows. I had foundation, blush, defined eyebrows, eye shadow, and mascara people. Rawr! I don't get to do that often. I still think I'm a sexy beast without makeup, but putting on clothes that do not begin with "sweat" and end in "pants" and my eyebrows enhancing my AH-mazing facial expressions is a huge confidence booster.

Okay, current Moms, I'm preaching at you now. BUY SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF. I am the absolute WORST about this. My husband sees that I am over the moon excited to see this particular item in a store or it's a handmade product that will save me time making it myself. He tells me to get it. I look at the price, and I refuse to buy it. When I spend money, I try to be reasonable. Our grocery bill is already expensive buying organic and Non GMO, essential oils, etc. I am happy spending money on better food and medicinal items for us, instead of a pretty necklace I cannot wear because I don't leave the house and I have a mini man cub on my chest in a Moby wrap. No one will ever see the jewelry. I always have an excuse. Everything is about the man cubs and my husband. I make it a point that Paul gets to buy something he wants (within reason cuz the list of cars he wants just isn't within budget yet). He works very hard for all of us. He deserves to buy something for himself. The man cubs are constantly needing the clothes passed down, new shoes, something for school, food (OMG people they clear out the fruit produce drawer in less than a week after grocery day). Although I know I deserve to spend money on myself, I always find something that I believe is more important to spend that money on for my husband and kids. In all honesty, give me an hour to nap in the tub. I'm totally happy with that. But I was preaching to buy something for yourself wasn't I.......
So, on Tuesday when David and I went on our morning walkabout through the hotel. I stopped in the shops we missed the previous day. I found more adorable clothes for the man cubs and little miss Luna (yes, I have been shopping for my newest niece). I hit the jackpot! I bought a shirt/shorts outfit for each man cub, and a pretty dress for Luna. And surprisingly enough, I bought myself a dress. Yep! You read that right. I bought a dress FOR ME! I don't do dresses. Y'all know that. I don't need to explain why in more words than "I have 4 man cubs" and "finding the right fit for my body is NOT easy." However, this woman was very kind, and helped me pick a dress that was kinda fancy, Hawai'i island style, and nursing friendly. SCORE! And it's predominantly red, so ya know, favorite color, win win. $150 in store for 6 outfits. This woman had the best prices for clothes in the hotel, hands down. And she was the most helpful.
How did I feel buying this dress? It felt good. I liked it on the hanger, I liked the style too. But the style had me feeling insecure. Two words: Dos Boobs. You cannot wear a bra with this dress. Starting at a DD, then birthing and nursing 4 man cubs, was not kind to Dos Boobs, okay? I don't mind that they shrunk. In fact, I am SO grateful. But this sagging halfway down my stomach business? Not cool. I'm 29. Dos Boobs should not sit 4 1/2 inches above my belly button. Me. No. Likey. Y'all are reading this and thinking "TMI." Momma Bear don't care. I'm telling you what happens when you have kids. AND I will add that although I am not happy about the positioning of Dos Boobs, I would not change that I nursed my man cubs. Nope. I wouldn't consider it. Hand me the do-over pill and I would not change nursing my man cubs. You couldn't pay me to change that. Mom bod is beautiful even when we, as Moms, hate something about our bodies. I earned these Tiger stripes and I wear them proudly, even in my insecurity of Dos Boobs.
I rocked that dress though, just saying. It was weird at first. One, because I was wearing a dress, and two, because the style of the top was way out of my comfort zone. I never would have imagined being able to wear something like this pre or post Motherhood, EVER. Pat myself on the back for 2 things: I bought something for myself that I REALLY liked. And, I tried a totally new style even though I was insecure about it. Show me the 3 cards with a 10 on each please, and spank you.

Later, as we were getting ready to go to supper with one of Paul's coworkers and his wife, I somehow ended up fully dressed in my new outfit without him realizing what I was wearing. I was laughing internally as I stood in front of the vanity applying mascara. He walked by twice, apparently a man on a mission, and had no idea I was in a dress. By the third time he walked by, he stopped like a deer in headlights. Bahahahahah He's seen me in a dress (now) 3 times in nearly 8 years, so the look is totally appropriate. "What is that?" You can hear the questioning in his voice implying I'm sick or something because I'm wearing a dress. I think it's funny. Gotta keep my man on his toes.
As a result of me wearing a dress, he wore David in the Moby wrap. Freaking sexy people. RAWR! A man caring for his family, brownie points, A man making his wife feel like the sexiest woman on earth even in her insecurity of the dress (and dress style), double brownie points. A man giving Momma a break and caring for his man cubs, triple brownie points. But when a man is baby wearing, espresso points! I like brownies, but espresso is way better. So, this is my way of measuring sexy on a man. It's espresso, alright. Go ahead and laugh, the priority of chocolate to espresso in my life is very clear and measuring as such makes the most sense to me. So, my husband is espresso status with the Dad points. ;) And yes, I took a picture because I am totally unashamed sharing that sexy thing all over, ok? Yes. Freaking sexy. All mine. Go get your own. Rawr. ;)

So Moms, do not feel selfish when you purchase something for yourself. No matter how small it may seem to you, it is a big deal, and you deserve it. You're a Mom. Your job NEVER ends. Treat yourself to a mani/pedi, get your hair did (I need mine done BAD. Inno, I need you!), buy a book, buy an outfit, take a shower or a bath and wash your butt. And do not take for granted washing your stinky self uninterrupted Moms to be. The struggle, it's coming!

Dads and Dads to be, you better make Momma feel like the only woman in the world at all times. You better make sure she gets time to shower. And you better pay attention to her meltdowns because if you don't, Lawd, you is in trouble! Don't be a dumb dumb. PAY ATTENTION! She carries a tiny human that sucks all the nutrients from her body, ruining her once white and healthy teeth, her stomach gets soft, she gets more stretch marks; the hormones make her into a psycho that hell fears worse than Satan, and then she births that tiny human through an even tinier space where your genitalia usually goes or she's cut open and her organs are moved around. You will never understand the sacrifices of a Mom. Do not allow her to take herself for granted and don't you do it either. You make sure when she forgets her worth, that you remind her. Don't just buy her stuff. That isn't enough. You can't fill a space with material things and expect her to always be happy. Tell her she is beautiful! Love her Tiger stripes, her sagging boobs, wipe her tears through the meltdowns, and even when the meltdown seems stupid to you, remember it is NOT stupid to her. Don't be a dumb dumb. I repeat, DO NOT BE A DUMB DUMB!
Dads and Dads to be, you are not too good to push a stroller, baby wear, change a diaper, or stay up all night with the baby or sick kid. It's sexy! IT'S MANLY! Don't be a prude. You ain't too good. It ain't "women's only work." You helped make that baby, and if you didn't and you're considering permanently filling in for the deadbeat who left, be the man Momma needs you to be, and the Daddy that kid needs. And don't you dare be ashamed about it---Moms, return the favor. This is a two way street.
There's a mini Mom rant---You're welcome! ;)