Mom Life Rant Courtesy of Moi
When we venture out as a family into the public view, it isn't rare that people inquire about our kids. The usual question is, "ALL boys?!" I think to myself, "Well, duh." But being the wonderful person I am, I generally respond with a curt "Yes" and wait for the general ensemble of other questions and compliments about our family. I don't usually become offended by the broken record repertoire of questions, or comments otherwise. But today, I was put off when a woman approached us in Bass Pro, and in passing said, "You're brave."
Many of you read that and thought, "Eh. What's the problem?" Because I am unable to convey the tone she used, you may assume correctly that her tone was the issue. Yes, we have 4 sons. Yes, they are ages 6 years and younger. The youngest of which will be 1 at the end of this month. Yes, I understand people are purposefully waiting longer to have children. And yes, I know people generally attempt to have more years between their children.
Newsflash, we are not the majority. We do not desire to be as the majority. AND, it ain't nunyah business! Lawd, have mercy! What do you or anyone else care how many children we have? You ain't paying for them! That's right! I said it! You. Ain't. Paying. For. Our. Kids. Your taxes do not grace our bank account. We have no government assistance whatsoever. And we do not use the public school system. Not even a charter school. We pay for everything for our kids ourselves. Not that a person in passing would know that. But I digress, why is it any of your business how many, when, where, or how? God blessed us---gifted us with the ability to have children. The number, the gender, that is irrelevant. I am a mother and I am grateful, period.
Do not walk by me and use a condescending tone as if we are in over our heads. Quite frankly, we are beasts in the parenting of 4 sons under the age of 6 department. Spank y'all very much. My response to her as she passed was, "No. We're blessed." That's right. Keep walking. We are not brave. We are blessed. We didn't plan to have 4 kids. We certainly didn't plan to have 4 sons. And we did not plan to have them so close in age. But here we are. God has a sense of humor. We may not always share in the humor...But we are blessed by his humor nonetheless. As my seestor lovingly puts it: BUGGINSTHEEOFF
For future reference, don't walk up to a family with several kids and call them crazy for having so many. Years and years ago, having less than 4 kids was unheard of. Now, couples like Paul and I are openly teased about our lack of using birth control, and our sex life. For your information, it's AHHHHH-MAZING. Again, not that it's any of your business. But since we're on the subject. I ain't shy.
AND, please stop asking if we "tried" for a girl. Lawd, we didn't "try" for the 3 kids following Isaac. What makes you think we were after a girl? Not all parents with kids of the same gender want the opposite of what they have. Do you honestly believe it's a good idea to have another female in my house? Everyone pause...Think about this...No...The day that happens, is the day that vasectomy is miraculously reversed. We ain't paying to have it done, so it would only be a miracle that it occurs. Got it? Stop teasing families like ours about having so many kids. Stop asking if we tried or are trying for the gender we do not yet have. Stop asking if we're done having kids. There is no amount of birth control, whether pharmaceutical, natural, or permanent that will prevent you from having children if God wills it. This particular paragraph applies to every family. Not only families like ours, but all families. It ain't nunyah business.
The simplest inquiring comment can come off entirely insensitive. The kids hear people asking if we tried for a girl. Do you have any idea how that could make them feel? "Oh yes, we purposefully tried for a girl with number 2 and we got a boy instead. We tried 2 more times and still no girl." That's sending the message to our sons that we are not satisfied with the blessings we have. THEM. Our sons. That we don't love them as much as we should because we would rather have a girl instead of boys. How awful!!!
Our sons are loved, planned by us or not. Our sons are happy. Our sons are growing. Our sons are being trained by the people who love them most on this Earth: Their parents. We are blessed and grateful to be parents. Sadly, the rest of the world is misguided, and never satisfied with what they have. We are. The insinuation that we are as the rest of the world, is insulting. Keep your insensitive comments to yourself. And check your tone. Not everyone will be as nice as I was to that woman after my husband gave me "the look" to save her hide. What can I say except "You got off easy."